The Faith of One…

or just his own beliefs…

Off The Menu

Posted by onemansbeliefs on December 4, 2008

I present a word of warning for those of you that plan on inviting the Mrs. and me out to dinner and have a tendency to get embarrassed by the action of others.

The Mrs. orders off the menu…

Having been with my lovely bride for over fifteen years I have yet to see a menu that she doesn’t deem worth of tweaking. The type of restaurant does not matter. Italian, Chinese, Indian, fast food, slow food, vegetarian and even vegan. No cuisine is safe from her adjustments. Some major (cream sauce for red), some minor (pine nuts for mushrooms), but these changes are necessary. Chefs have taken years to perfect these dishes. However, my wife has the uncanny ability to make them even better.

I believe this is genetic, yet I lack the funds to have any scientific study take place.

Anyone know where I can get a grant?

That being said… I am her equal opposite…

I do the same thing at home.

No “all in one” meal is safe. I will add anything and everything to Hamburger Helper, Chunky Soup or any other heat and eat dinner. The reason of this post (other than getting an invitation to dinner) is to let you in on one of my favorite adjustments.
It is my favorite food of all time…

Macaroni and Cheese…

Start with 2 boxes of Kraft Mac & Cheese… Yes, it has to be Kraft and it must be the original… Not spirals, Sponge Bob, white cheddar or any other kind of Kraft… Has to be the “Cheesiest.” I have tried using generic and the final product is just not the same.

Cook macaroni to desired taste and drain.
Add 1 stick of butter and delicious cheese packets and milk.
I do not measure the milk. I just add until it seems right. However, I am cautious about adding too much. After all, it is easier to add than remove…
Mix together over low heat…
Now for the kicker…
Add 1 bag of 8oz shredded cheese. Not just any cheese… It must be of the Mexican variety… The one with 4 different cheeses… There is no restriction on this cheese, it can be any brand (although, the Kraft brand makes the mac & cheese extra smooth).

No need to thank me as I have already received your thanks in advance…

While typing this post I remembered an unusual thing about the Mrs.’s off the menu affliction and must amend the above. It seems the more expensive the restaurant, the less likely she is to make adjustments. So any invitations should be to really expensive places…

To save you the embarrassment, that is…

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One Response to “Off The Menu”

  1. republicandy said

    Hello, Gaines! ….. I’ve enjoyed your blogs, and based on this one, I suspect we share the same wife!

    (Mine, too, has to tweak her order… it is a never-ending source of bewilderment for me, and adds an element of suspense to every trip to a restaurant.)

    Thanks also for your kind comments on my blogsite, and sorry it took a while to get back to you…. I’m traveling a lot on year-end business, etc., and can’t wait to get back to actually doing some writing.

    I appreciated your mention of “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.” It made a big impression on me also, and I’m going to have to bump it up in my ‘gotta-read’ list as I haven’t read it for quite a while.

    I did an Amazon search on “Portrait of Dr. Gachet – The Story of a Van Gogh Masterpiece” and it sounds really interesting; thanks for the tip.

    Take care, Gaines!

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